I’ve been trying to stick to more of a posting schedule and I thought a good way to try that would be to do a weekly feature. Top Ten Tuesday is a popular meme in the book blogging world, one I’ve participated many times in the past. I’m not sure if there is one outside of blogging so here is my version. Today’s topic is about some of my personal insecurities, everyone has them so I’ll just be honest about mine. I find that talking about insecurities is sometimes a great way to accept/work through them. So here are a few of mine, in no particular order.
My Top 10 Insecurities
My height: I’m 4′ 11 1/2″ which is pretty damn short (I’m 29 years old). I somehow have always ended up being friends with girls that are really tall (my old coworker was 5′ 11″ and two of my other coworkers are probably 5′ 8″) and I used to always feel like a hobbit standing next to them. When they invited me out to eat I made sure I wore heels that day to lessen the height difference.
My eyebrows, or lack thereof: My eyebrows are so damn light and sparse that unless you look really closely, you can barely tell I have any at all. My mom used to get asked if I was sick when I was little by strangers (how rude!). I’ve always been jealous of girls with really naturally thick and beautiful brows.
My dark under eye circles: I’m very pale and I’ve always had very dark under eye circles, even to this day. No matter how much sleep I get, I have these almost purple-ish dark circles that don’t go away no matter how much concealer I’ve tried putting on in the past. On days when I get little sleep, they look worse, almost like I have a black eye.
My light skin: I’m very, very pale and I can’t seem to tan when I’m out in the sun. Any attempt results in sunburns, which suck. Summer is all about tan bronzy skin, and here I was with super light skin…Jeez, with my pale skin, nonexistent brows and dark circles, no wonder people thought I was sick.
My toes: One of my toes is significantly shorter than all my other toes, summer shoe shopping is the worst because everything is open toed.
My weight: for my height, I’m considered over the weight I should be even though I wouldn’t consider myself to be overweight at all. But I do still have like 10lbs of pregnancy weight to lose.
My shyness: I’m a very shy person once you first meet me. It takes a while for me to warm up to someone, even if I like them. Being in a situation around strangers is just very nerve-wrecking and stressful. Even in online situations like Twitter, I can’t seem to break out of my shell.
My moles: I have two moles on the back of my neck that I just don’t really like. I feel self-conscious when I wear my hair up, not to mention it hurts when people comb over it (while getting my hair done).
My nails: I’ve been biting my nails since I was little. So bad that they used to bleed. I’ve tried the garlic and chili peppers in nail polishes and they’ve never worked. It’s like this nervous/bored habit. I see girls with gorgeous nails and mine are all ugly and bitten.
My boobs: I’m on the higher range of a D cup and finding cute tank tops or dresses is not fun because they are designed with B -C cups in mind. And finding a good fitting bra is like a treasure hunt.
Accepting/Changing My Insecurities
Like anything is life, the trick to insecurities is deciding what to accept and what you can do to chance some of these. There’s nothing I can do about my height. I’m pretty sure I can’t get taller at this point so I’ve just accepted it and I wear heels when I want a little bit of a boost. Thanks to all the awesome eyebrow tutorials on youtube, I’ve been mastering the art of filling in my brows for a natural look. So, it may look like I don’t have brows, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fill them in. After years and years of trying to cover my dark circles with foundation/concealer/powder I FINALLY found something that works. The CC undereye corrector from Tarte is like magic! I guess the trick was using a salmon colored concealer to cover them up. I’ve started using self tanning lotion about once a week, when I feel like looking less pale. It’s great and gives my skin a tan tone without looking orangey or fake. Since I can’t change my toes, I’ve just accepted them and make it my mission to find pretty close-toed shoes and heels. I’ve also been painting my toes, just because I don’t show them off doesn’t mean they can’t look cute. I’ve been working on my weight for the last few months. I’m eating better and healthier (and less) and going to the gym (when I can). I can already see a difference and I’ve dropped 2 pant sizes (to a 10) and lost about 10-15 lbs. It wasn’t really hard so I hope to lose the other 10lbs soon! Blogging has helped me break out of my shell a little. I’ve developed some great friendships because of blogging, people I talk to every day, and if anything I’m glad I got that out of blogging. I still wear my hair up and I DGAF if my moles show or not. 🙂 I’ve actually stopped biting my nails these past two months and I have tiny nails already. I can actually scratch someone (so watch out!). Pretty soon, I’ll be rocking some pretty painted nails too. Well, it’s safe to say my boobs are here to stay so whatever, I’ll be happy with what I’ve got.
Instead of feeling down over what I don’t like about my self, I try to focus on what I do like. Like my eyes, my hair, my nose, etc.
There you have it, what are some of your insecurities???